Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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