i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
