Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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