no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
