Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
