idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
