Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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