WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
