Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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