Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
