He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
