so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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