We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
