Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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