One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
