it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
