Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
