I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
