She announced her abortion via fbk
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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