My brain says no but my pants say off.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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