Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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