think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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