Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
