My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize