we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
