you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
