that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
