normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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