Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just found puke in my bra..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
