Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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