You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
