I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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