She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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