Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
