once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
