Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
