her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
