Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
