She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
