the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
