Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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