Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
