Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
