Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
