Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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