he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
