hell yes lets make some ravioli
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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