I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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