You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
