I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
