There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
