YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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