Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
