we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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