i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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