In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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