Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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