8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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