they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
