yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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