Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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