the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
