its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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