You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
