i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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