why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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