It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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